Ozakmrzmn
Seventeen
A Republican
Mysteriously Magical
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Friday, December 28, 2007
god,you must be kidding me
im just so worn out inside. so many questions have been playing in my mind. i don noe whats next? is he for real or is he jus playing around? would he ever want to do it again? must i be the only girl living on earth so dat he wud be faithful to jus one, just one i said. am i not good enough? is he getting sick of me? is he playing around with my feelings? have he ever tink wat have i done to him previously, is it not good enough? are we falling apart? do i really wan dis? does hes feelings fading now? does he noes hes an ATTACHED boy? does he ever consider my feelings first before all dis started? is he really going to stop? is he really in love with me like i do? does he tinks im being paranoid? why does he do dat in the first place? does he have an eye for her? wat have i done wrong? is he serious bout me?
god,i tot i do good things, good things happen to me. i tot if i change and make oders happy, he'll do the same for me. i guess i don do it sincere enough. god im alone here, i got no one. i jus need to be respected for who i am. well yea people judge by looking at looks, i noe i aint as pretty or as hot as whoever out dere. but wen comes to dis, at least i noe wats right and wrong. right now u have made my days turn into nights. now i realised, being faithful to someone is not easy. cos u might tink dat everythings perfect but u don actually noe dat ur world is toppling down. dats wen u tink dat ur far from perfect, you see. he might hav not notice but ive really sacrifice alot for him. jus to see he smile, jus to make him happy. but why must it turned out dis way?i don deserve dis. ive never go out to guys and start all mushy mushy wif dem. no no no. i can say it proudly, NO hav i not shown much love to you? wat more is insufficient? its driving me crazy. fuck well yea ur gona go to a new sch and mit alot of new people and "friends". lets jus wait and see whats next? ive been flashing back everything u said and all those msgs was hurtful.deeply i mus say. wen i all these going to end? i mean END. no more already. i say end end end. fullstop. no comas or dash. not clear enough? ok i say END, FULLSTOP, NOMORE. baby palin zanna thanks darla for d advise and console.i love you girls no matter wat. i really do. after hearing those words from u girls was an eye opener for me.
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