Tuesday, June 17, 2008
dear: faizin
ytd i had a really hard time- trying to look fine. which everybody knows im not. but im just trying to put on a good mood so that i wont created any drama scene. ive been holding back my tears so badly ytd, idk if any of you might notice. when i return home i just couldnt get hold of it anymore and just cried satisfying it. it is just to heavy to hold back~ anyway ive been asking around people for advice. somehow it isnt enough, i jus have to blurb out everything. hoping i'll feel much better. i feel so awful, depressed, worn out, anxious & etc. ytd i slept so late & yet i woke up so early today. i hardly get any sleep, so many questions been popping inside my head. how i wish you were beside me, i just wanna cuddle u so hard. people or even ive been wondering why must i hang on to you eventhough you've hurt me countless times. idk? i need you to understand me. leaving is hurtful enough, you avoided me ytd. why do you have to leave so soon? im mostly confused about my status. single but not avalaible is that it. think about it its not one month or two we've been together, its one year my dear. how's that possible for me to let go easily, tell me?
last time, you did somthing really wrong & low but i've yet to forgive you. not once or twice neither trice but many. i let it go just like a breeze, but now its your turn to forgive me. if you dont like it say to me, teach me or should i say educate me how to be a good gf. we haven had a real conversation. what the hell is up w you dammit? sick for sticking to the same girl hah. tell me for hellsake. how come its so easy for you to let go of me despite the one year long relat. klaka pe kau~ ergh pls by friday i'm gona text/call you up. i give you 3 days to rest the matter.
pls takecare of yourself.
p.s i still love you. hais
Labels: oza, yours truly
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