disco say "Hosehliao!"

fairoza

knock me out of my trance

Monday, July 28, 2008

what friends are for

these are my two bestgfs i had. they've seen me through thick & thin unlike the kind of friends in school. & importantly not forgetting my other gfs- yknow who you are. frankly the ones i called "bestfriends" had dissappoint me once again. now u guys are no longer labels as "best" or "close" friends. i was treated like a dirt today in school, my friends was giving me all the shits & craps. firstly, you throw sarcarsm at me indirectly to everyone in class. secondly, you badmouth & complain to everyone in the class- no wonder everybody's been giving me that disgust look. thirdly, how many times must you fight with me. we've been fighting for the last four days & now this. forthly, when i sat beside you when away & sat with the others leaving me all alone. fiftly, when you had problems you come back crawling to me for advice. but if your on the zone with them all', you leave me. you guys went hugging, holding each others hand's while i was just right a centimeter behind you following you guys. i feel so stupid cos im so lonely that i dont have any friends besides you guys.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

-..- pig

currently im full with distress & anxiety. im packed with the overabundant of schoolwork, art, home study, homeworks, test & etc. it just keep on pilling up. seriously im just procrastinating all of it. i should be studying or doing my homeworks now yet im still on the lappy.

ok please exit, cos this post is so random & dry. bye

adam khoo's workshop

dint had a chance to update last week as i had my 3-day camp in sch. it started as early as 5am in the morning till 9pm at night. but heck, despite the long hours. i had sucha blast during the workshop. my trainer was leroy & huimin. i laugh my ass out throughout the 3days. it was not as dry or as tedious as i expected. on the other hand, day2 all of us went through a grieve session. everybody cried till their eyes were swollen, it really shook us- well thats the main point of having this whole camp. i've never seen so many guys cried till that particular day, even the tough ones. that's when i see how affectionate were are & emotionally sensitive. for the whole 3years, finally my principal did the right thing.

p.s i miss mr. leroy ratnam

Friday, July 18, 2008

where were you when i need you most?

im just so sad right now. you see i got my motivational workshop since wed till today-was my last day. it was freaking awesome. but somehow i just feel so lonely, today my friends treated like imma piece of crap. leave me behind all alone, when i talk to then they pretended i wasnt there, & ya they never look at me. wtf? what have i done wrong. do i fucking look like i owe ur father money?! stupid stuck ups bitches. so & blabla i when to text boyf confessing how i they're behaving. i end up getting nothing & feeling sorry for myself. seriously i have a confession to make, firstly i got my close friends who treat me like dirt today for no fucking asshole reasons, secondly i am so tired- for goodness sake i have to wake up at 5am rush to sch & reach home at 10pm. the workshop lasted for more than 12hrs, its even worse than you guys who's WORKING. im even more tired than u guys. thirdly, pls lah talk when otp. yknow i had a hard time at sch just now & ur adding on to it. forthly, he doesnt even give a eff abt how i feel. fifthly, i was looking forward to meet you tmr-saturday, but last minute you cancel & tell me ur working all the way till 11. i even record down in my handbook. wahh thanks alot dude. sixthly, when i say i wana meet you on sunday. you say "no, confirm i go home late one". pardon for my horrible english.

i learnt that, seriously in life you got no one but yourself. if your love ones bring you down, who else you wanna look up to. mom?dad?sister?friends?even boyfriend? hell no. it's you yourself whose gonna make you feel better. frankly i dont really have anyone beside me, i dont have anybody's shoulder to cry on but myself. for now, i dont even know i have anyone who really cares about me deeply & with sincerity.

p.s where were you when i need you most?

where were you when im having my breakdowns in my life. where were you to bring me up again when i fall?
i love myself more than i do for anyone. cos everyone out there, you're just nothing but just a bunch of pretenders. trying to look like you care but you dont. fuck you

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

tuesday blues

today i fell very ill, was having high fever. its was really a bad start for the day~ my head hurts so badly. i had an ache on the spine & my body was uber hot. so i went to text boyf hoping he'll finish sch early so that he can accompany me at home. but he said he end at 6pm, pfft. but on a lighter note, suprisingly boyf called me & told me that his coming over to my place. yay! how nice of him to look after me while i was sick. he almost did everything for me despite being told not to. & now while i was posting this blog, he's asleep behind me. too tired perhaps? awwh.

p.s thank you huney<3